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Thursday, September 07, 2006 1:31 PM 3 entries in a day is really unusual. I am exceptionally not in a good state today. It's been a while since I last felt so unhappy, upset, uptight, irritated... I promise myself to stop bothering so much. I force myself to be non-chalant. But I just can't do it. I hate to grow up. I hate to go through what I am going thru right now. I AM FEELING SO TIRED. Tired of everything! There is no reason for me to carry on and look forward to. I felt my life has hit the rock bottom and I can't bring myself up. It's really so difficult to face this world. I don't understand what I have done to deserve all these. I don't know what's next I have to deal with. I need to stop putting up a happy front. I need to stop taking all these shits in this world. It's torturing! My life has never been that smooth sailing before. I thank god that I always have a chance to smile everytime. But when I have to cry, I can't blame anyone. It's my life and I can't be a burden to anyone else. I ever thought of giving up and leave everything behind. But the thought of being selfish just holds me back. Then again, why do I still have to be so considerate when no else in this world really care about how I feel? I've really given up hope on every single thing. I just need a little bit of time. I don't know. I wish I could just die and reborn somewhere with no problems. I wish that I am just a piece of rock. I just want to be happy. Truly happy. Dear God.
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