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Friday, October 06, 2006 11:33 AM After reading one of the post of my darling girl's, I realised she is so right. I have so many friends in my life but yet only a handful of them are truthful to me. I am not that kind of model classmate that most people out there would want to befriend with. I can't help you with your homework nor chip in ideas for your project. I am not smart and I can't have an intellectual conversation with you. I can't help you with your business and can't help you with a job hunt. But yes, I am one of the best choice to contact if they need my help financially. And that's why I have friends whom I hardly hear from or even hardly know, calling me or smsing me asking for help. I am not filthy rich. I just couldn't reject. But of course I will only help if it's within my means. I used to be so "generous" until I got so taken granted for and most of them refuse to return what they owe me and started their "missing" act. It's like, after so long, haven't you able to at least pay me back abit, or say something nice to delay the payment? You will only look for me if you need help. Ya, a friend in need, a friend indeed, right? Seriously, I rather that we never crossed path before. I don't get it why there are people out there borrowing money for credit bill payment, clubbing, buying something that is not neccessary, repaying payment from other loans or whatever shits when they could avoid piling up debts by stop spending so much. I mean, you can spend. But just spend within your means. I can't bring myself borrowing money, having the reason that I am unable to pay for this and that. Unless it's something that you have been eyeing for like eon years, or something important. Till date, I don't think I had really borrowed any money from anyone except that if I left my wallet elsewhere and I need a buck or 2 for meals. I just couldn't bring myself to ask for loan, just to buy a IT bag or THAT piece of necklace. Ok, back to friends... (not sure why I digress to borrowing of money! HAHA!) I hate it when I have friends calling me, asking me for help as if I am obliged to do so. I will help if I know you really need it. Stop sounding as if I owe you and I should return you a favour. I am sorry, thou I should help you, I have EVERY single reason why I shouldn't. It pissed me off totally. Recently, I have this friend, someone I work closely with but hardly hear from these days, asked me to do something really... not neccessary. There are alot of things behind this and I am already not very happy with this person. All along I kept it to myself and didn't say it out. But what he messaged me the other day really trigger off my anger inside me. Thou I still did what he asked me to, because it's like "my job" (at least to him!) but really, this whole friendship is getting no where. I am upset that what he sees in me, is just a tool. Success takes 2 hands to clap. You may not be where you are now without my help and I won't deny that it benefits me too. But it's really superficial of you, getting close to me, just because I may be a great help to you. Fine, I may not be cool enough or successful enough to be your personal friend. But who is there for you when you're upset? Who did you call when your world came crashing down? Who spent so much time on the phone trying to comfort you? I am sorry but I have seen your true colors and I am so disappointed in you. I don't mind being just a company to friends. But I don't like it when they just chuck you aside until they need you again. Look for someone else. I am not your kind. I don't really need that much acquaintances who take me for granted only. I want friends who cherish me instead. At the same time, we all know, we can't please everyone in this world. However, I am glad I still have this bunch of great friends who are always there for me when I need them and look for me when they need my help. They appreciate me and never fails to makes me feel fortunate having them around. In return, I love them as much as I love myself. No matter where and when I get to know you, I am glad to be your friend and having you as mine. You will know how much I appreciate you from the way I interact with you. No point trying to fake being nice. Believe it or not, I am nothing but a true friend. My dear girl, it didn't take me to reach 21 before realising that this is a very practical world. I've been thru the worse and if you look inside of me, my heart is partially lock from people who is trying to take advantage of me. In fact I starting to lose trust and faith in some people so it will take me awhile before I can warm up with someone new. But trust me, I really cherish you. :) Hugs! <3! I heart you!
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